Um, so I can’t sleep as usual and my mind is wandering about some pretty retarded things I though I’d share.
First off, what did we EVER do without cell phones? I mean, I have a SERIOUS relationship with mine…and I am talkin serious….marriage. Now, let’s take a trip down memory lane back to the good ol’ days of yester into high school, circa 1996. I mean, we had to beg our parents for pagers (yes, pagers kids…) When we’d get a page, we would drive our asses all the way to the nearest gas station and use a …..gulp…..PAY PHONE…. to return the page. Yup, I said it. It’s all out on the table….we used pay phones. Can’t you just see it? Ten years from now we will be reliving the old glory days with our kids and, instead of the old “I had to walk 10 miles to school every day” speech, we will be explaining what pay phones were along with why and how we had to use them. Our children simply won’t be able to comprehend such a burden. Now, you may be asking yourself why a 16-year old would possibly need a pager. This is a great question. Well, for starters, what else is there to do in the suburbs of Chicago besides drive around aimlessly and hope someone will page you so can pull over and call them back? Not much people, not much. BUT, it was absolutly crucial to our social status to be notified at all times which local park the cool kids were at, only to drive there and hang out for 10 minutes before we were kicked out to yet another park. And people actually say high school wasn’t fun?? I don’t buy it.
Ok, now let’s all revisit our first cell phone (a.k.a. car phone/Zach Morris phone). It was a giant, and I mean GIANT heavy tube with a thick, black, coily wire you hooked into your car lighter that was to be used for “EMERGENCIES ONLY ” since it cost 52.00 a minute. Come to think if it, Zach Morris must have racked up quite the bill talking to Kelly Kapowski as much as he did.
When the phone rang with an actual ‘ringing’ sound, (Yes, those were the pre-bling tone days…can you imagine such a monstrosity??) you had to flip the giant panel down and scream, so the grainy voice at the other end (which was almost always your mom telling you to come home for dinner) could hear you. How did I ever live like this?? It seems like such a wasted youth! Can you imagine how much easier cheating on tests would be via text message? Shit, I could have gotten into Harvard had they come out with that heavenly piece of technology just a wee bit earlier! But hey, they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? This would explain why I am the rock solid person that I am today.
