When did we get to a place where restless legs became a syndrome? Is that what we’re doing now? Making the mobility of limbs [that I'm pretty sure were originally intended to be moble] into a disorder? What’s next?….Obsessive compulsive breathing disorder? We are apparently doing this for depression medication, too. They now advertise prescription pills by showing us symptoms like eating & being a human so we will look them up on WebMD and diagnosis ourselves with disorders that probably shouldn’t be disorders and then go into a doctors office and tell him we are convinced that we have either Depression, Autism, or Chlamydia and demand the doctor give us a prescription to treat all three (which he will gladly do) whereupon we pay $300 [out of pocket] and wait patiently until we feel fantastic. When this does not work, we turn the TV back on and find another commercial with a cute little butterfly that tells us everything will be calm and serene once we have [insert controlled substance] in our blood streams, which makes us excited but then worried that we are getting medical advice from a butterfly, which makes us log back onto WebMD and learn that talking to imaginary objects means we are almost certainly schizophrenic, manic depressive, or have rabies, so we call the doctor back up and get more prescriptions in hopes of feeling the bliss that those nice white people in the commercials feel but we don’t so we just give up and go to Chilis.
And that is why I love America.
