Do you ever find yourself on facebook looking at pictures of people that you totally don’t know? (”Oh!…so-and-so was tagged in Suzy Smith’s photos! Why don’t I look at all of Suzy Smith’s photos….and entire profile while I’m at it! And then let me google her to find out everything there is to know about her from the time she was conceived until present day!”…….anyone?)…only to realize you have wasted a half hour on Suzy Smith who lives in Duluth and whom you will probably never meet? Now that we have things like facebook and myspace, it is so easy to peek into other people’s lives. I mean…is it really any different than peeking into someone’s windows at night wearing only a loincloth and some assless chaps? I think not. Sometimes it’s creepy how much of us is really out there on display for anyone and everyone to see. On this note, I got a very disturbed message from my mother today who is A) embarrassed of this blog B) wonders where she went wrong in raising me, and C) is CONVINCED that this will prevent me from ever getting a job or husband in the future…and that I will be 62 and still asking her for help with the rent. ***Side note: C is a very real possibility.
On a different topic, I have been hearing about so many people my age lately going to Africa or India to save the Children or (insert disadvantaged mammal species). My friend Ellyn did this last year and is dying to go back again. dying. Maybe I am a heartless bastard, but I have no urge to do this….ever. I mean….ya I feel bad for those kids in the commercials with flies in their faces and all, but I am all set living in the land of 24 hour delivery and indoor plumbing. My friend Yael recently told me about her honeymoon in the small rural villages of India (side note: I’d sooner stab myself in the eyes with a rusty spoon then honeymoon in the 3rd world.) where people bathed in a river just a stone’s throw from Elephants crapping and people emptying their “shit buckets”. She talked about how you never shake someone’s left hand because, since they have no toilet paper there, this is what they use to wipe themselves. Let’s take a minute of silence and reflect on this……………………………………ok. I’m confused. Could they really not figure out ANY another way to wipe their asses besides using their own flesh? I mean….leaves? …even pita bread (naan?) would be better, for Christsakes. Ya…so, I think I’ll stick to helping the crazy people…in the 1st world.
On that note…I was uptown at the psychiatric hospital again today for my internship interviewing the crazies. I usually have a good mix people on any given day there, but today I seemed only to have SEVERLY depressed patients. I usually find that when I make some self deprecating joke, they will crack a smile. Today was different. Maybe I was a bit off in my comedic stylings, or maybe the urge to off themselves was particularly high today, but this is pretty much how the conversation flowed:
Me: So…what do you like to do for fun?
Crazy person #1: I don’t
Me: You don’t like to have fun?
Crazy: no
Me: me either…fun sucks.
Crazy: (silence)
Me: I find that vodka helps.
Crazy: We’re not allowed to have vodka
Me: (realizes she shouldn’t be promoting alcoholism to a depressed person) Oh…I was kidding…..Crack is MUCH better. (would give a kidney to take this statement back) I mean….crack is whack.
Crazy: (blinks in silence then looks at my name tag for proof that I am actually on staff)…….who are you again?
